Wednesday, June 07, 2006

First driving lesson outcome

Yikes. Got quite a bit of driver's block. Waaaah! I'm aghast about not recalling anything from the whole summer I practiced. True -- it was like 15 years ago, but I never thought I'd start from zero again. I didn't even know which was the gas pedal anymore... and --erm-- kept switching on the wipers instead of the right signal light.

The experience was rather nerve-wracking since the instructor kept barking out commands: Signal light! Turn right! Gas! Clutch! Brake! Go straight now! Straight! Straight! Don't you hear me? Straight! then snickering side comments in between, like Good turn. You did it nicely over that tree root. I'm beginning to fully grasp Michi's concept re: Italian obnoxiousness.

The cheeky fella also kept muttering underbreath: Assassina! Assassina! (which I doubt needs translation) I mean, REALLY. How childish. He even let me out the car early -- 45 minutes. I'll have to check if the lesson really lasts this short, because I paid or thought I paid for one whole hour. The silly guy also disappeared for some 10 minutes afterwards while I and another girl waited outside with the car -- she for her lessons, I for a ride back to the driving school. Boo!! I want another instructor! Someone with a calm, soothing voice and who doesn't talk too much. He's probably saying more or less the same about my maniacal laughter every time he panics. Hee.

I'll have another go at passersby (the instructor's wisecrack) on Monday. Let's see how that turns out. In the meantime, they've scheduled me for the written exam around end of July.

On a lighter note, since I could use one right now:

My Personality Is Like Marijuana

You're laid back and easy going, so much so that taking a shower is often too much trouble for you! (yikes, how'd they guess?!!)
Nevertheless, you're quite popular, and many people enjoy your company. You're rarely turned down. (yeah right)
You're prone to giggle fits, paranoia, and forgetting where you are exactly. (i knew it! someone's been spying on me!)

30:30 update:

Yay! Only 4 more poems to go. Can't wait for it to be over. I seriously need some free time for revisions, catching up on e-mails and also time off to study for the driving exam (more than 1600 test questions to learn by heart).

The latest poems are:

26. Cold Paradisiac Flies in the Skyline: Paracelsus
25. Cold Paradisiac Flies in the Skyline: Water
24. Bubble Gum
23. paradisiac
22. How a Mother Peels Fruit Before the Funeral
21. The Day She Was Called to Identify the Body

Currently reading:

American Gods by Neil Gaiman... the first 35 pages remind me of Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series (went crazy over them in high school). Correct me if I'm wrong though.

Have finished Jeffrey Eugenides' Middlesex. Wheeeee! Just plain loved it! Terrific story with lots of eye-opening tidbits about Greek immigrants and hermaphrodites. Thanks for the tip, Mick!


sam of the ten thousand things said...

Arlene, your 30:30 project sounds very interesting. Best of luck with the test.

Enjoyed your blog.

Carl Bryant said...

I failed my first driving test miserably. The state trooper examing me was very rude. My need to please evaporated rather quickly. The beer cans rolling out from under the seat when I stopped too abruptly didn't help, either (it was my uncle's car.)

I loved the Anthony Incarnations series, too!

Oh - and I'm acid.

SarahJane said...

gulp. i'm sorry about your driving test, because I've been meaning to sign up for lessons and finally get a license, too. there are no calm italians. but if you'd prefer, you could have a german instructor. i hope it all works out for you. you need to drive.

middlesex has been on my wish list for like ever. glad to hear you liked it.

michi said...

hello mary juana,

ha! enjoyed reading about your adventures. i am so glad we don't need a car here in vienna! we don't have one. i have a licence, but i haven't driven since death valley in 1993 (still wondering where that name comes from? *LOL*). i wouldn't have a clue where the gas pedal is.

glad you enjoyed middlesex. i thought it was so well written; loved his virgin suicides as well.

haven't read piers anthony (there's a sucky name: piers! ugh!), but enjoyed american gods. but i'll say it again: nothing beats neverwhere! though his short stories are very, very good too.

speak soon, grisogrt!


Anonymous said...

Ooohhh, wee! Driving!

Really, just had to add that I LOVED Middlesex too. It's the perfect plane read :)

Anonymous said...

Hey, A... well, it seems it (driving, that is) wasn't as good for him as it was for you, huh?

I haven't read "Middlesex", though I loved "The Virgin Suicides".

Oh, and I'm ecstasy, free love around here, babe!!!

Arlene said...

thanks for the driving encouragement everyone! i'm going to need lots of that, i think.

glad to hear you love the incarnations series, carl. he's got a mind like a maze, doesn't he?

i sure envy you vienna, michi! commuting here is quite a problem -- when the hubby was sick, i had to taxi to the hospital every day. very costly. not a bus line to that place! it's rather scandalous since it's a large hospital. duh. that made me decide to learn driving: the idea is to send enough people to the hospital to encourage a dedicated bus line from my town to there. read that tactic from the art of war.

nate, you naughty fella, you just took the words out of my mouth. teehee!


michi said...

*LOL* arlene - that idea might actually work you know ... perhaps you can get together with, say, a few hundred friends and park in front of the hospital and honk the car horns through, well, 15 or 16 nights, that might make them act quickly and go for buses.