Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Poems in The Frogmore Papers

Forgot to mention that my copy of The Frogmore Papers arrived last Saturday.

It's 46 pages, saddle-stapled with matte card cover. Not the most sophisticated journal (especially after the postman folded my copy in half then shoved it into the smallish mailbox slot). But the poems and short shorts are absolutely delish! Hee. And I'm not saying that only because I've got —erm— four works in this issue... and never because —mumblemumble— the editor sent me a £210 check to cover my driving expenses. There's a great mixture of sass and serious poetry in this issue and, because of my lifetime subscription, it makes me want to live for a long long time.

Was reading it the other day while waiting for the instructor (always late) when I spluttered into teehees — much to the school secretary's consternation. The culprit? Matt Shoard's winsome scatological prose which was awarded 3rd prize in the Frogmore Short Shorts 2006. Here's an excerpt from Lindsay Shits — WARNING: not for the squeamish:

     Did I not tell you? She looks like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, but she goes out all night, see, and drinks, and takes substances, and then comes straight to work from a nightclub and shits. You can smell it downstairs. I don't think she flushes. Once, there was shit up the back of the lid. Today was the last straw because it stunk there apparently. So Clive sent a memo to the effect that could everyone please ensure that they flush the toilet after use. Only he put 'ensue'. What does 'ensue' mean?
     Well it means it follows, it occurs.
     Could you please follow that you flush the loo. Well, anyway. It just shows what you can get away with, with looks like that. The other day apparently she stank of alcohol, but nobody mentioned anything....

What a riot! And it just got more and more wicked. My poems in this issue, apart from the first one, are more sane. I've been outweirdoed again.

• Hangover
• Chocolate Pudding
• The 23rd Secret Love Poem (read)
• Sandals (read)

The adjudicators report as well as the other winning poems in the Frogmore Poetry Prize for 2006 can be found here. Love Ros Barber's note to those who didn't make the cut: "Keep writing, and don’t let the bastards (including me) grind you down." Am tempted to quote her on that re: TPM submissions.

30:30 update:

Still alive, obsessed with buckets and writing drivel —

6. Still Life with Bucket
7. A Driving Student Intrudes on Fallen Nuts
8. Holding a bucket in one hand
9. A Driving Instructor's First Gastrointestinal Cramp
10. Locusts

Recent acceptance:

Iota accepted my poem on AIDS, Positive for a future issue.
This is a neat UK-based magazine, professionally printed, flat-spined with glossy b/w card cover. Accepts submissions via e-mail.

     Submission date: 21 August 2006
     Reply date: 9 September 2006

Driving update:

Yikes. Someone please send me a hefty amount of Divine Intervention by Friday. Apart from panicking around men-at-work sites, I'm the same old assassina behind the wheel. And that's putting it positively.

3 comments:

Sharon Hurlbut said...

Congratulations (again) Arlene!! You are a publishing powerhouse. I'll see if I can arrange some divinity for Friday, though I'm sure you'll do great. Have you ever considered that maybe you just drive like you write - a little off kilter from the rest of the world?

Collin said...

Arlene, you are my new goddess. You are a publising "Terminator"! lol

michi said...

hahhaha! love sharon's comment. sharon's getting more cheeky by the minute since she started doing 30:30, have you noticed? *G*

and collin's right, too. i feel like a stuck record going "congrats ... congrats ... congrats ..."

anyway: well done you. i need more time so i can sit down and go through my bookmarks of print journals and start putting stuff together for those. i mean i have written 230 poems over the last 13 months, unparalleled in michistory. but i am also putting together chapbookish manuscripts, so it's a bit difficult.

you'll do your best tomorrow. and if that is not good enough for them, it's their loss, as the saying goes. try again. i'll try and align the stars just right for you though. just in case.

morse x